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[quote=Anonymous]My friend's kid was exactly the same way. I'd think it was her writing but her kid is already in college where he's a hot mess.

There is a balance between scaffolding and enabling and you need to find it. The overall thrust for your approach to parenting needs to be that everything you do is about TEACHING them to not just do self-care on their own, but to THINK about the need to do these things on their own. Start with making a self-care calendar or schedule that you put on paper and hang in a prominent place. Every Thursday night can be laundry time when he gathers every single item on the floor and either hangs it up or washes it. Every Sunday night can be the time for a weekly review of special events or big due dates. Every Tuesday can be when he is in charge of doing something for the entire household/family like cooking dinner, raking leaves/mowing the yard. He needs your help to understand that all this stuff (clean clothing, cooked meals served on clean dishes) doesn't just happen magically. It can happen haphazardly, but that's a crappy and stressful way to live. As others have said, get him into this new way of living life now, while he's home. It will be extremely difficult to figure this out alone at college with nobody there to help show him the way. [/quote]

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