Reply to Touched Out: Is Motherhood a Scam?

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[quote=Anonymous]One thing I didn't understand about the physical aspect of motherhood was how much of the physical contact with my kids would not be comfortable for me. It's not all snuggles and hugs and holding hands.

Today my DD, who has been cooped up at home sick for three days, had a mini meltdown. Of course she didn't want DH, only me (the more upset she is, the stronger her preference for me). I was lying on her bed with her to comfort her, and she wanted me right next to her, hugging her. But at the same time she's still upset and disregulated, so she's pushing her feet into my thighs. She wants my arms wrapped around her but she's basically shoving my legs away. It's not tender or sweet, it's freaking exhausting. Eventually she relaxed and it's this whole ordeal. It's not all just kissing booboos and giving hugs.

Add in all the normal, day-to-day contact like wrestling a toddler into clothes they don't want to put on, lifting a kid up high enough to see something, or strapping them into car seats, or carrying them the last block home when their legs give out. Some of that can be tender and sweet, and some of it can be a battle, it can be hot and sweaty when you just want space, it can be repetitive to a Groundhog's Day level of monotony.

I love snuggling my DD while I read to her in bed at night. I love our hugs goodbye and hello before and after preschool. I'm so glad to be there to kiss the booboos and offer hugs and carry her when she needs it. And also, some days, it's physically taxing, exhausting, work. That I'm supposed to treasure every minute of. And sometimes I don't. And no one else can do it.

And yeah, after a day or a week of that, if my DH sidles up next to me on the couch or in bed, I am annoyed. And then he's hurt and it's like "really? you too? I already went through this today." It's too much.

I need some kind of two week silent, no touch retreat.[/quote]

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