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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one has brought this up but this sounds like it might be part of BPD behavior.

Does your daughter have any of the other behaviors on this list?

If so, I strongly recommend you get her into DBT stat.

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable or changing relationships
3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury
6. Varied or random mood swings
7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality[/quote]

Interesting. Most of these are yeses.[/quote]

OP,

I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation. Given that your daughter displays many of these traits and that feeling suicidal one day but not remembering having felt so the next day is textbook BPD, it's likely that she does have it, but obviously, you'll want a confirmed diagnosis. 
I second the advice for your daughter to start DBT as soon as possible if that is not the kind of therapy she's getting already--and with a therapist who specializes in personality disorders.

That said, there is no cure for BPD, only management of the condition which is impossible without genuine, consistent investment in long term therapy, and people with BPD have low capacity for maintaining stable, healthy relationships of any kind (you said that she is "doing great" with family relationships, but if you are referring to her relationships with you and your husband, I wonder how much accommodation you and he have been making in order to facilitate them, consciously or unconsciously as part of a longstanding pattern over the years. It's very telling that she has no longstanding friends). Indeed, telling people that one is suicidal every six months or so is not only manipulative but downright emotionally and psychologically abusive.

So you asked what you should do. Well, you are already on the right track in not overreacting when your daughter calls to say she's feeling suicidal. That is, aside from encouraging your daughter to get the therapy she needs, you and your husband need to create healthy boundaries by creating some emotional and psychological distance between yourselves and your daughter. Channel your energy into healthy relationships with friends and family. Prioritize your relationships with any healthy children you may have (your daughter's behavior didn't come out of nowhere; any immediate family members who have had to live with this dynamic have been affected by it and likely in ways that have sidelined them).

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