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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I and many of my friends adopted kids who experienced significant trauma. (All adopted kids have had some trauma but some real with it better than others). It will be nothing like your parenting experience. Things we are all experiencing include ADHD, cognitive issues that require expensive services, drug use/abuse, vaping, suicide attempts, hospitalizations, defiance, serious mental health issues, running away, violence, internet abuse, and the list goes on. We spend our time looking for services, trying to get IEPs, trying to get mental health treatment, trying to find that magic medication cocktail. And some of us have had to evict a child because of incredible defiance and violence. We all experience joy too. But each thing I listed, except for eviction, is something everyone in my group has experienced. Peaceful periods have been few and far between and they don’t last long. Trauma is no joke.

I would not have written this post except that you seem to think that parenting a kid who comes to you as a teen with probably multiple disruptions and a terribly difficult life will somehow resemble your parenting experience. I don’t think you should necessarily walk away. But you should go in with your eyes wide open. If you don’t think you or your younger child can live with holes that have been punched into your walls or sleepless nights waiting for the police to find your child who hasn’t come home yet again, adoption of a teen might not be for you. [/quote]

Agree with this. OP, how will you feel if your kid refuses to go to school, steals, damages your belongings, pees inappropriately, harms your pets, threatens suicide, says you injured/abused them (putting your professional license at risk), or runs away? Because these are all things I experienced as a foster parent of a younger kid and it only scales up as the kid gets larger and hormones kick in. If you can handle it that is amazing but interacting with kids in care or otherwise at risk in ways other than jumping right to adoption seems wise.[/quote]

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