Reply to I was scolded for my past

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I think the thing that bothered me the most is that she triggered something from when I was in my early twenties. At the time like I said I was basically fantasizing about suicide. 
But now when she reacted this way, I’m thinking :” wow maybe I am an abhorrent human being for not having been perfection like most of my sorority type friends.”[/quote]

You’re onto something here. Your reaction is amplified because the (none of her business) criticism landed on a very sensitive spot where YOU are the self-prosecutor. I’m not the huge therapy fan some on DCUM seem to be but it might help here with letting go of self-dislike.

Something that might be of value is to do sort of a meditation where you’re you as the adult you are now and you encounter that young, scared, suicide-ideating girl who feels she has no options and no hope. How would you react?  What would you say?

Exercises like this can be painful but they can also be a powerful tool to separate the “now” you with your accomplishments (including survival) and the “then” you, who is still perhaps too present and too intertwined with your life now.

Another thought is to consider how damaged, shame-influenced and self-judging a person would have to be to say what this person said to you. You don’t have to rush to be her friend or go-dependent rescuer, but realizing that what she said is more about her than about you might be beneficial.

I hope this helps. [/quote]

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