Reply to Anything I can do legally if my children are left money with an abusive relative as trustee

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]   My mother is determined to force a relationship between me and my sister and force my kids to be close with her. My mother has informed me that due to my boundaries and (refusal to get sucked into chaos anymore), she will be leaving me out of any inheritance and my kids and sister will inherit with my sister in charge of the money my kids inherit through a trust. My mother has lived in denial as my sister has been accused of creepy behavior with a cousin's child (and I have also distanced due to inappropriate boundaries with my kids and many other things). My kids want nothing to do with her and are afraid of her. Sister is currently making her ex-husband's life a living hell (and mom is upset I am not more supportive). He got custody of their child and so mom is now excluding that grandchild from her will which is typical of her with manipulating and playing favorites. Sister is currently suing a neighbor and her workplace where she was fired. Many of her friendships end when the person reaches her limits with favor requests or doesn't want to hear the drama anymore. There is no substance abuse that I know of, but there is a lot of untreated mental health stuff including entitlement, grandiosity, mild paranoia. (yes I have posted about this before, but not the new situation where I am disinherited and my kids will be forced to interact with her).

Is there anything I can do to make sure my sister has no power over my children accessing that money when they are adults? She is absolutely the type to try to manipulate them and create obstacles to force them to see her and pretend to be close. Also, is there anything I can do to ensure boundaries are put on when they get money? Mom won't allow me to discuss or ask questions. I certainly hope they cannot access it all at say 21 or even 18, though I am not allowed to ask how much "it all" even is.

So is there anything I can do legally to protect them from my sister and also make sure they only get access to enough money in their early 20s for things like grad school, living expenses and then as they get older and wiser things loosen? I also want to make sure as 18 year olds they don't have access to some large sum of money.[/quote]

Your mom is using this money as leverage over you. You need to plan to NOT have it and go about your life. If your kids receive it think of it as a nice bonus.

The only step I'd recommend you take legally is find out how to force a regular (annual? bi-annual? quarterly?) accounting from the beginning and ruthlessly enforce it - at arms length, through an attorney that represents your children's interests.[/quote]

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