Reply to DS’s best friends parents are unresponsive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At their kid's birthday party, his parents had a simultaneous party for adults where they were getting high? I think that tells you all you need to know about what kind of people these are and how you've been wasting your time trying to arrange anything. I wouldn't want my child around them or at their home.  At this point I would stop trying and just tell your son that David is a school friend. I feel sorry for David, though, and for your son. Help your son find other friends or activities to expand his social circle.[/quote]

[b]Yeah… I told ds after that he isn’t allowed to have sleepovers at David’s house and I’ve only let him go over there when the nanny is there[/b] (she seems like the runs the show during the week). I feel sorry for David too, I have heard him asking his parents if he can do various things (including play with my son) and they are really dismissive. [/quote]

I wouldn't say this to a kid, it's likely to get repeated and then the [b]parents may cut off the friendship entirely[/b]. You are free to decline any invites but I'd nix the editorializing [b]if you want your son to have access to this kid[/b], even at school.

If he's having playdates and sleepover invites? I am not seeing that there is not socializing? You seem very judgmental of the parents (perhaps with reason) but they likely have picked up on that and thus the perfunctory responses with no follow through. OP, are you bad at reading social cues? I get your kid likes this boy but the other parents have NO obligation to you OR your son. Read the room and model moving on. I'd really watch speaking negatively about families unless you want to burn any relationship your kid has with the child. I get them not responding in the way you want is disappointing but you are not helping the situation. [/quote]

I guarantee you "David" is interchangeable with dozens of boys of similar social background. We don't need to encourage OP's notion that David is superspecial or irreplaceable. OP's child can and will move on.

I have been through the same thing with my oldest child where some of her school friends' parents didn't want to foster friendships beyond their existing network. What these friendships all had in common was that the parents were much much older. As in Moms who who were in their 40s and dads who were in their 50s when the child was born. Older people are too stuck in their ways and too tired to make new friends. After I noticed this was the common denominator, I started guiding my kids to make friends with kids whose parents were younger, even though we too are older parents. It was a game changer in terms of kids' friendships.[/quote]

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