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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint so to need to think about this I. The long term. If you choose to stay home will it mean she can’t do the extra curriculars she wants, or go to her preferred college, or in her adulthood have a mother who is economically dependent on her, or guilt trips her over the career she sacrificed?[/quote]

Agree you have to think longterm, but sometimes having a SAHM means you CAN do extra-curriculars you wouldn't otherwise. Some activities are extremely hard to manage with two full-time working parents. Especially with multiple kids. See the current thread on how the heck a dual-income family gets multiple kids to and from school and activities during the week when the vast majority of that stuff happens during school hours. OP has a nanny but do they intend to keep her once the kids are in school? Is OP's job flexible enough to accommodate multiple activities between two kids? And so on.

Agree on the money piece. I certainly wouldn't become a SAHM on a long-term basis if it would torpedo my retirement, or if I'd resent my kids for it. Though there are also options to SAHM for a few years, or even move into freelance/contracting positions for a time to maximize your flexibility while keeping your skills/resume current. I did that for 3 years after my second was born and zero regrets about that. Returned to work with no issues and no actual resume gaps (contracted for my prior employer, just a few projects a year, throughout, so kept references and skills fresh most of the time didn't work at all).[/quote]

PP here and agree there are also a lot of potential benefits to staying home depending on OP’s specific situation and potential career trajectory. However, the preferences of a 4 year old should not be a determining factor.[/quote]

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