Reply to Dh has stopped pretending to care and it’s a real bummer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Husband and I have been together 13y. But I've started to realize he really doesn't care if I'm ok. I had cancer last year and he was helpful, but not concerned. Since then he's just been mainly... annoyed. I am the breadwinner and have a job I hate, but make a lot (about x5 his salary). I've noticed he doesn't ever proactively try to help me figure out a way to downsize our lives so that I can take a step back. He'll listen and nod - sometimes - when I tell him how unhappy I am. But he never ever suggests solutions for us to adjust so that I could have a better balance. There are times when I am literally crying my eyes out about the level of stress from my job and he is vaguely listening while scrolling on his phone. Right now I am interviewing elsewhere and seeing red flags in places and he just... doesn't care. He says "oh it will be fine". Like - not necessarily if you're the one pulling the 55h weeks surrounded by the worst people ever. He never pulls extra effort with his own career. Recently I got super sick again and was worried and he just made me feel like I was a crazy, anxious irritation who needed to chill the f out. Maybe I am! But clearly he has no more interest in making the effort.
any advice? I would really prefer not to divorce w a 7 and 10 yo, one is neurodiverse. but it's getting - into ridic territory. Should we just divorce or separate or what makes sense? [/quote]

Men are told over and over to just listen when women vent, not to offer solutions.

Not saying that’s what’s happening here. But we are repeatedly told not to try to fix things when the women in our lives complain.[/quote]

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