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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are in a power struggle.  Talking to a third party trained in helping married couples negotiate through uneven power financial situations might help.  You have the upper hand here and[b] seem to be overriding his opinions.[/b]  [/quote]

I agree with the 3rd party thing, but don't see her as "overriding" --rather he wants something reasonable (a trip with friends) but has come up with a cockamamie, oblivious way to justify it and she's got a lot of simmering resentment about her workload, and upset that what he wants (a guy's trip with friends) isn't what she wants (trips together in the future when finances are less tight) and that he's not as tuned into the whole financial picture.

I think the thing to do is to identify all the wants--and OP can want not to have to work so hard too and have wants of her own that should be respected--and work out the long-term budget together.   OP doesn't get to prioritize her wants because she earns more, but she also doesn't have to sacrifice her well-being working so hard either.  She can say she wants to downshift in her career too--or if it's important to the family budget for her not to downshift can identify the non-negotiable expenses that will support her ability to work with well-being (e.g., housecleaners, couples' vacation for them).  I think her definition of what they need for security might need a check with a 3rd party--either to validate her perspective or to offer an alternate view.  It might be that what she thinks as reasonable is too controlling OR it might be that the combination of what he wants (low-stress job, daily lifestyle spending, guys' trips) is beyond their means without adjusting the budget/his income.

But I think financial and marital counseling is definitely in order.[/quote]

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