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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get a pet[/quote]

Please STFU.

[/quote]

Not the PP but why such an angry response to a perfectly good suggestion? Having an animal that loves you unconditionally can bring great solace to many people. OP I am so sorry for your loss. I have witness friends who have been where you are and the only advice I can give is be kind to yourself. Give yourself a lot of grace and patience and forgiveness. Also, It is survivable. I know it doesn't feel that way now but there are loads of people who make it through and find joy and laughter again. Remember that when it feels like you can't do it. It is good that you are reaching out and looking for support. You're gonna be ok. [/quote]

NP here who also had a strong reaction. It is not "a perfectly good suggestion." Here are just *some* of the reasons it's a bad suggestion.

First, not everyone likes animals. Animal lovers have a hard time understanding this, but for people like me who don't like being around animals anymore (loved them as a kid), animals increase rather than decrease stress.

Also, animals are a lot of work. A lot. Animal lovers downplay this, but nearly everyone I know, when they get a new pet comments on how much work it is and how they had forgotten how much work it was, especially if it is a young animal.

When someone is in the rawness of new grief, barely able to put one foot in front of the other, the last thing they need is additional responsibilities.

And then there is the whole issue of a suggestion like that being tone deaf because it comes across rather glib. Someone says, "My entire world has been upended, and I have no clue what to do now." And the response is, "Get a pet!"

I'd be willing to cut someone some slack if the suggestion was caveated with something like, "When I lost my spouse, i found taking care of my animal to be helpful." But that's not what was said.[/quote]

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