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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

My youngest is 21 y/o son and still lives at home. My oldest is 25. Me and my son watched him die next to our bed. The grief makes me feel like I can’t live another day sometimes. This was 2 1/2 weeks ago.[/quote]Yes, this was an incredibly intense experience.  You are still so close to it.  It’s very natural to just keep re-living the horror that you witnessed again and again.  Grieving is a whole process.  Unless you’ve been through such an intense death, no one can relate.   You may have bouts of tears just driving some place and may have to pull over.  You may see some look-alike in a store that jars you to that place of shopping with your loved one.  It’s rough, seemingly unfair, and I wish I could tell you how to make the pain and loneliness go away.  All that I can tell you is that you let the tears flow when they may. You pull out those pictures of your loved one year after year and let the tears flow.  Eventually, over time, less tears will flow.  Eventually, with time and much space, you will flip through those photos and laugh a little and not cry as much.  But it is taking years for that to happen.  Your life must go on.  And, yes, life is unfair at times.  But, you must know that others will come into your life slowly over time.  Laughter will return.  Memories will stay. Less tears will run.  New friends will be made.  More unique fun experiences will be had.  But, right now, you are just beginning your grieving process. I might suggest that you join a Grief Share group even for 6 weeks or so.  You will see that your thoughts, emotions, and actions are common in this grieving phase.  It will help you through these early days and weeks.  Hang in there.  You have much to give this world.  [/quote]

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