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[quote=Anonymous]Re: strategies besides restraining… believe it or not (I had a hard time with this one!) it’s fine to let them punch pillows or stomp feet or scream. Sometimes their body HAS to move and make sounds, especially if they have ADHD. So give them space. If you live in a single family home and they scream, it’s fine. (It’s not fine in a hotel or on a cruise.) They need to learn that they can get thru bad feelings themselves. If they think they are such a danger that someone has to pin and hold them… then they don’t have a true sense of safety. If the kid always has to be restrained by an adult they will think to themselves “wow I am really dangerous” (which is scary) and what you want them to learn instead is “I feel angry right now… but I can be angry and still be safe” - ie the stomping feet punching pillows. As a parent, you ignore those things as much as you can and just say “I can tell you’re angry. The best thing I can do for you right now is wait until those feelings aren’t so big. Then we can talk or snuggle or do something together.” Hope that makes sense… I’m trying to channel our therapist who tells me this stuff over the years. It’s very very bad if a kid is scared of themselves. You have to get away from that.[/quote]

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