Reply to Parents have reached crisis mode. Feeling overwhelmed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you all for your advice and kind words. Believe it or not brother and I do not even know the names of agencies to call because this all hit us two days ago and yesterday was the first day brother saw the situation in person. Even this simple tip to call aging and disability helps because we are so stunned. I also didn’t know there are two types of Medicaid.

We had been estranged due to their lifestyle choices that have made their condition worse financially than it needs to be. We didn’t know how bad things have gotten, but Dad needs help even getting to the bathroom. My brother has a hard time by himself moving dad around the house. He needs to find a wheelchair. No clue what his medical issue is but Brother took him to get blood work done yesterday against his will. Mom cannot manage on her own without Dad because of Alzheimer’s.

I hate to say this but neither brother and I want to support them financially nor can we really afford to do it. It’s hard to explain but there is some bad history between us due to their choices, but they now seem so helpless and frail that we feel really awful. [/quote]

It's often complicated. They are fortunate that you and your brother are willing to rally here.

Look up senior services in the county where your parents live. Ideally their county provides senior services and have staff with whom you can speak. Sometimes it is called Department of Aging, Agency on Aging, Older Adult Services Division, etc. Start there as well as  look at whatever nonprofits exist locally. Also, sometimes it is good to check out the nonprofits based in the state capital and ask for referrals to the county where your parents reside.

IDK anything about this outfit - https://www.millcityseniorliving.com/the-activities-of-daily-living-adl-checklist/ - but this explanation on ADLs (Activities of Daily Living) is pretty good and you and your brother may find it helpful to use this as a guide when talking with professionals on assessing next steps with your parents. Sometimes knowing the terms of art helps provide focus and urgency to the situation.

Good luck![/quote]

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