Reply to MIL visiting, wants me to take PTO to sightsee

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - DH is calling her tonight when he gets home and will be talking to her. This is a difficult situation - some of you make it sound so easy, but the reality is, she is his mother and as easy as it is to say online to turn her away at the door, the reality is much more difficult.

We will see what goes on tonight during the phone call. [/quote]
Of course it is difficult to turn her away at the door - that's why we are saying to be proactive and tell her BEFORE she gets to your door. If she is struggling with money, maybe you can offer to pay the change fee on the flights?

Some tips for the phone call - look up JADE method and stick to it. So dont justify, argue, defend or explain. "Mom, this time frame Does. Not. Work. You need to change your flight, I was looking at Xdate-Ydate, what do you think?"

If she still wants to come during that time "Ok if you don't want to change your flight that's fine, but we are not available for sight seeing. You will need to book a hotel and spend 99% of that time alone. Wouldn't you rather come when we can spend some time together?"

It's difficult. Very difficult, especially the first time. But it gets easier, and setting boundaries now will be immensely helpful for your future. Also reiterate - "Next time, please check with us first".[/quote]

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