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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First rule of parenting teens:  Don't take it personally.

Secondly, go out to dinner without him.  We've done this before, left the snotty-at-the-moment teen home who couldn't be bothered home, while we went off and did whatever we had planned and our kids survived unscathed.  Two of the 3 are adults now, and doing just fine.

Thirdly, you may want to really consider working with a professional on untangling your issues with the ones you're having with your son.  If your history of abandonment is (understandably) interfering with being an authoritative parent, working with a counselor/therapist can help you unpack all of that.  Your kid is going to realize (or already has) that *he* is in control, not you.[/quote]

+1 I have two teen boys older than yours, and have childhood issues that makes it tough to know how to parent. #1 is SOOO key. I calmly say, "We're leaving in 10 minutes if you change your mind." Taking the emotion out of it will truly help because it sounds like you're locked in battle. I say this because taking away games for months, which is a source of connection for boys, is extreme.

Also, the more I listen, instead of fix, things are markedly better. But, they'll never be perfect. Decide what is most important and focus on that, let everything else go.

Finally, I suggest therapy too. For those of us who weren't parented, it can be VERY challenging to navigate raising kids. There was a trigger for me when my kids were aged 9, so I've worked on this for awhile and am feeling better. And even to this day it can be hard to see them not appreciate things you would have killed for. Sometimes it gets me in a rage, but then when I think about it that means I'm doing pretty effing good. Light years ahead of my own parents. GL! You've got this![/quote]

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