Reply to If Your Spouse is Ugly / Funny Looking

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is every relationship that falls below expectations. We ignore the less attractive habits early on and then when we are no longer as engaged we start to focus on all those things that we ignored early on. (I remember suddenly it being able to stand the way an ex ate…he didn’t change by my ability to overlook it did). In your case it is about spouse’s physical appearance but it can be anything. It’s falling out of love. You are just dealing with it extra due to feeling guilty band maybe also you had a bit of the savior complex in that by dating someone “below” you in certain regard you would have their gratitude. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way.

I think you need to consider your marriage apart from his looks; your feeling of disappointment is currently focused on looks but really it’s about unmet expectations and that maybe you lowered your standards and you shouldn’t have or didn’t need to. It’s ok to have these feeelings but work them out with a therapist so you know what to do. [/quote]

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