Reply to How to handle my birthday with my BF

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DP. with your update, I'd just ask him to level with you. In any case I'd prepare to be disappointed. I'm sorry. I've been there. Married him and it's been 17 years. He's a good DH overall and a good father, but has never been great on birthdays/celebrations. I have long since learned to temper my expectations. [/quote]

OP: I get that. I feel like either way it's going to be a let-down though- if I level with him, and he hasn't thought about anything, or if I wait and see, and he hasn't done anything. At least by not saying anything, I give him a chance to book something last minute, without micromanaging, right?[/quote]

It is clear that no matter what he does you are going to be let down and upset at him. You need to grow up. Tell him what you want for your birthday and then work with him to make it happen.[/quote]

NP. I'm sorry but I disagree.

OP - your BF said he was planning something. You will be disappointed if he didn't - that's a given. But by asking him "hey should I pack something" is really wishy washy and passively asking. Now, if you go the direct route "hey what are the plans for the weekend" - and then he didn't and has to scramble to "give you what you want" you will most likely still be disappointed.

That said - if it were me, I wouldn't ask. Funny how the same ppl that say "speak up / ask for what you want" are the same ppl who also say either grow up your birthday is not a big deal or stop micromanaging and let your partner do what he says. What I would want in this scenario is my bf to actually proactively plan and follow through with what he said. You can't "speak up and ask" for that until he doesn't. I don't think OP is dying to go to the beach but rather trying to figure out what type of bf she has and is he considerate, thoughtful and/or a planner. I think it matters - that you are with someone that matches you or that you can live with. She won't find out by doing it all and saying it all for him upfront.[/quote]

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