Reply to Midlife mental health in toilet, deep self loathing, feeling hopeless

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m in this boat, too, OP.  It’s a shitty feeling and I’m medicated and seeing a therapist to try to work through it.  If you don’t have a therapist, I highly recommend it.  It’s not magic, but someone good can help you process overwhelming feelings and prioritize.

[/quote]

Not to be counterproductive, but it is SO hard to find a good therapist to discuss these issues, I've found. I've seen a few therapists over the years and while I got along fine with them and even got something out if it each time, I've never found someone who could really help me with self-esteem issues or just that fear that I'm failing at life. I feel like it works okay for more discrete issues like being unhappy with a job and needing to find a way to deal with that. But this kind of existential collapse, I've just haven't found anyone who can touch it.

How did you find your therapist?[/quote]

I’m the PP, and I hear you.  I’ve had some duds and one who was batsh!t crazy (and I may be depressed, anxious, inattentive adhd-addled and myriad other things, but not crazy) but I found my current person through a referral from my former psychiatrist, who retired.  But I found that one through sheer dumb luck after the crazy one had me running for the hills.  I did a search on psychologytoday.com and sent her an email and we clicked.  I’ve moved a lot due to spouse’s job, so I feel like I’ve been forced to start fresh a ridiculous number of times, but it has helped me know what I’m looking for.  I want a psychiatrist, I don’t want to see more than one person.  I’m mostly looking for a sounding board who makes suggestions and can help me reframe my wonky thoughts, but not push me so hard that appointments are yet another thing to dread or worry about.

But I’m still a middle aged, social phobic mess who doesn’t have any close local friends, so … there’s that.[/quote]

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