Reply to Midlife mental health in toilet, deep self loathing, feeling hopeless

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is how I feel too.  If I didn’t have children I would commit suicide.  [/quote]

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I have so much compassion for you all who are struggling with your identity, life choices, what's next, and at the same time you are probably emotionally exhausted from parenting during a pandemic, the vitriolic political discourse and a feeling that the world has changed and is no longer safe or hopeful.  Does any of this sound familiar?  I have felt this way for a few years and have been working hard to pull myself out of my depression.  That's probably what this is.  Here are some ideas for you all:

-Definitely get your vitamin levels tested.  My D and B were both very low leading to low energy and depression. 
- Check your hormones and consider HRT if you feel like perimenopause is part of what is bringing you down.  I have a few days a month or depression and rage related to my cycle and it sucks.
- Self talk - for those of you who had critical or neglectful parents, learning to talk to yourself the same encouraging, kind way you talk to your kids really helps.  I know it sounds super cheesy, but give yourself complements, encourage yourself and nurture yourself.  Replace the critical or anxious voice in your head with one that is soothing and loving.
- Maybe find some inspiration - check out Mel Brooks or another life coach time who speaks to you.  Listen to podcasts and start learning tools to move yourself forward.
- Exercise and do little nice things for yourself.  Maybe a lip gloss or an ice cream or a book - whatever speaks to you and makes you feel indulged in a small way.
- Think of the second half of your life as your eccentric second half century.  Do you dream of kayaking? Of casual dinner with friends? Hiking or beach going?  Traveling? What do you want to include in your next chapter?
- For the love of god, get out of your house!  We are all spending too much time in our homes.  We (I) have forgotten what we used to do before Covid.  We can't just keep on cleaning out closet and spending our precious time on tasks that are immediately undone (dishes - ahem).  
- If your depression persists, please see your doctor and think about SSRI.  Your mental health is worth working on!

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