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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for all your comments.  We have our own plans for the summer but no one has invited us to anything, and I am guessing we will have no invitations to anything the entire summer, as last summer we got no invitations to any BBQs, parties, or picnics.  I am always the one reaching out and planning events and playdates and nothing is reciprocated, which really bothers me.

I feel like to have a friend you have to be a friend, and [b]I try to be a friend and reach out to others and plan things[/b], but they never think of me and invite us to do things in return, which just feels really sad and lonely.

I would love to be invited to just one BBQ, pool party, or mini golf meetup this summer but I know even that will not happen.  [/quote]

OP, planning things isn’t the same thing as being a friend.  The kind of authentic connection found in true friendship is through listening, supporting, sharing personal feelings, laughing together, etc.  It’s not built through big parties or outings, typically, but through the quieter moments of talking together, repeated interactions where you can actually connect.  I say this as someone who is (or was) often the organizer for group outings - I did those because I liked getting several families together, but only *after* I felt a connection with the moms of the group.

My closest friends aren’t the ones I organize into family gatherings, they’re the ones I meet for lunch or call to check in on or make time to see.  So - do you have people with whom you do feel that kind of connection?  If so, try to deepen those friendships by one on one time.  If not, focus on those.  That’s what makes you feel less lonely, not the big parties.  Those are fine, too, but don’t offer the connection many people rightly want.  Hugs.[/quote]

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