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[quote=Anonymous]OP- my kid said the same around the same age and for the most part, we did what you proposed - we stopped changing his sheets and stopped cleaning his room and we didn't go into his room. He felt very strongly about privacy and we basically let him do it. We told him it was our house and of course if he violates our rules we would come in, but he really didn't. He kept his door closed so we wouldn't be snooping and so the dog would stay out.

For the middle school years, he was a slob and left his clothes on the floor, didn't do a lot of laundry, was a mess. He often couldn't find things.

But the summer before high school he asked for help and even though I didn't go in his room, I gave him bags and bins and he started to clean out his room. On his own, with his own ideas. He started doing the sheets and getting organized, on his own.

He is now a successful college student with good grades and good housekeeping abilities. He is neat and organized, though he is still has too much stuff.

Anyway, it worked for him - he wanted control over his own space and we let him and I think that really helped him learn what he wanted.

Again, we did sometimes go in his room when he was in school to make sure all ok, but not often and once we realized it was fine, we pretty much let him what his own thing in there.[/quote]

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