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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the replies even the ones difficult for me to read.
His caretaking wasn’t a sign of strength of character or maturity. He was like a bad paid caretaker - did what he was told to do and hated it. There was no love or responsibility on his actions, he was just an automaton basically. I am not the one to judge, I know, but just describing what I saw.
Mother was mentally ill and part of it was refusal to see doctors, she inflicted her own misery on herself.
Paradoxically he would have been more of an adult if he actually left her and maybe we would have at least 50% of the time spent in a normal home. But no, he would never dare. 
I try not to judge, I do.
I am trying to take care of him as much as I can, including moving him closer to me, that’s not a problem. The problem is I thought he was a capable adult and turns out he either isn’t anymore or never was. [/quote]

You dad has chronic burnout from taking care of a mentally ill person . He felt morally obliged because he is the husband--that was his decision to make not yours.
Are parents of mentally ill children under the age 18 morally responsible to take care of them? Go to the special needs forum and see what their burnout is. Yes--they can try to have the kids become warden of the state but few want to go that route. 
some may say the morally and ethically right thing is to stay with sick spouse--even if you are an atheist and don't believe in "in sickness and in health". [/quote]

What makes you think atheists don't believe in "in sickness and in health?"  [/quote]

You are right, it is about your morality code. [/quote]

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