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[quote=Anonymous]OP you are not pushy at all. As the POA for two other people, you get it. You see the disaster coming and you want to prevent it because you know very well it will all come back to you at some point.

My guess is that the will might have some things in it they don't want to make public? Could that be the reason she is hesitating?

What I'd try to do is appeal not to logic but to emotions. "I love you guys so much and I can tell the situation is hard, please let me help. I cry at night thinking about you two." Talk to the wife and tell her you care about her and FIL. Explain that if she passes before him that you can't do anything to take care of the FIL without an AMD/POA. Furthermore, who will take care of her? I would suggest redoing the AMD/POA and leaving her as primary, but you and DH as co-POAs if she passes. She might agree to that? If the will is the stumbling block, don't even bring up being an executor or wanting to see it at this stage.

What you don't want to happen is for the wife to pass and the legal documents only specify her with no fallbacks. Then you're looking at a truly bad situation where you need to petition for guardianship of the father.

He's probably at a stage where he is early enough that he can enter into a new POA, etc. but that time will slip away soon. If a neurologist will sign off that he is competent, then he can still get these docs redone. Doctors are often more sympathetic because they understand how much care patients need and how crucial these documents are.[/quote]

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