Reply to Parent who never matured but just grew old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not really looking for advice here; mostly trying to process and see if someone else has experienced it.
My mentally ill mother passed away last year. My dad was codependent for about 40 years, and was her caregiver for the past 10 years or so as she lost mobility. She was a very difficult person, tried to keep him away from us (my brother and me), and almost ran him into the ground. 
Anyway, for the past year I have been rebuilding my relationship with dad after about 30 years of being kept at arms length and living far away.

What I discovered after the initial happiness of being able to talk to him again was that he basically seemed to have sprung from being a young adult (he was always a bit immature and weak though a good dad) to being an elderly person. 
It’s like he was never a mature, strong adult. Honestly it’s like he is Rip Van Winkle and woke up after about 30 years. 
He goes from thinking he is 27 to mourning the fact that he isn’t, he doesn’t know much about contemporary cultural events - newer books or movies, that sort of thing. He is also pretty anxious, spends his days puttering around and watching YouTube videos. Honestly my teenage son seems more mature at times. Luckily he is also pretty easy going and funny.

I am just not sure how to process it. It’s like my dad disappeared when he was young and then suddenly re-emerged as an old man needing care and guidance. 
I know he’s had a hard life and I need to be compassionate but it’s just so…baffling? 
[/quote]

Sounds like you hardly interacted with him for 30 years, so he probably did have an in between phase but you just missed it.[/quote]

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