Reply to Parent who never matured but just grew old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I am actually happy to hear that he may have done the right thing. It would have been much worse of course if he just left all three of us. I had this fantasy of him taking us kids away from the other parent who made our life very hard but it’s just a fantasy, I understand.
No I am not looking for excuses not to care for him - that I can tell you 100%.
I do have difficulty processing some feelings for him which is why I am here. It’s easier for me to see him as a good man, so this thread helps with that. [/quote]

It sounds like you are really avoiding grieving the mom you never had but wanted, You are projecting your anger toward your mom for not being the mom you needed onto him.
Loose the anger and start grieving..it sucks not having the right mom....but own it, feel it and grow from that.[/quote]

No, I’ve already done all this in therapy. My mother, I have let it go, it was her illness. I am just happy it’s over. 
With dad, I just need to come to terms with who he is and was. Trying to process it now. [/quote]

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