Reply to Best toddler tips you have or have received from parents with "good kids"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not saying my kids are perfect or I'm a perfect mother, but my older son just turned 4 and I'm suddenly starting to see some of the fruits of my labor. So I would say:

1. Positive reinforcement works better than negative.
2. Redirection for bad behavior when they're young works better than escalation -- the latter only makes them tantrum harder. 
3. Structure, structure, structure. We sit down for family dinner several nights a week. It's often a shit show. It often lasts about 4 minutes total. But slowly but surely, I can see it's paid off and both my sons know how to sit through a meal with age appropriate manners. My older son says we need to say the blessing if we're out to dinner, showing me it's sunk in that that's what you do before you eat. Things like that. 
4. Constant, neutral reminding about verbal manners. Ex:
Toddler: Give me an apple
Me: Mommy, may I please have an apple?
Toddler: Mommy, may I please have an apple?
All of a sudden, he's doing this unprompted...!
5. When in doubt, there's a book for that (or Daniel Tiger or Sesame Street episode). Manners, potty training, behavioral stuff, whatever. Bearenstein Bears are good for that. 
6. Limit screens, but I don't see an issue with watching a few episodes of cute shows once a day or a few times a week. I think there's a difference between putting a show on the family TV on the wall vs. sticking an iPad or phone 2 inches from their faces at a restaurant (or anywhere). 
7. Healthy food. My kids are so annoying when they've had sugar. 
8. Healthy sleep habits and routine around bedtime. 
9. Give your kids attention when they need it, i.e. they fell down and hurt themselves and need a hug or want praise for trying a new thing. This gives them self esteem and fulfillment. 
10. I try to say "I bet you're so proud of yourself!" or "You can do it -- and you'll be so proud of yourself and so happy inside!" rather than only saying I'm proud of you. I don't want people pleasers (like I was raised to be).

There's more I'm sure. But those are a few. [/quote]

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