Reply to How do you manage on maternity leave with 2 kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am pregnant and when I give birth my baby will be almost 2. Am I supposed to take care of a 2 year old and a newborn[b] by myself [/b]on my 3 month maternity leave? I was barely able to take care of my first child when she was a newborn. I am confused -- what do people do? My DH will probably be able to take 2 weeks off work (maybe) if even that. My mother is in the area, but she is older and can only help a very limited amount. Do most people hire someone? If so, where do I find someone to help? Do mothers do this on their own?[/quote]

This is not meant to be mean or anything, but really? What do you think most of us who stay home do when we add another kid to the family? I would assume that you would leave your older child in daycare during maternity leave. But if you cannot take care of a newborn and a 2 year old "by yourself," then whey did you have kids. I am not trying to say this in a mean way, but I am being serious. [/quote]

I'm not the OP, but a SAHM keeping her kids and a working mom keeping them during maternity leave is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. In three months the mom will have to go back to work. It does no one any good if she  is going back exhausted. Not her kids, not her, not her husband, and not her employer. The SAHM will get to a place of sanity, the working mom won't.

OP mine were just over 3 years apart and I kept my 3 year old in daycare/preschool most days. It's important to spend the time with bonding with the baby especially if you are going back to work - I didn't feel guilty at all and the 3 year old would have hated missing preschool that long. [/quote]

How is it exactly different?? I have to "work" staying at home. I can't be totally exhausted or I would be letting my children down. Why wouldn't a working mom get to a place of sanity?  Please explain. [/quote]

I just meant that at 3 months, the working mom has to go back to wearing work clothes, commuting, daycare drop off, earning a living, pumping at work, etc. I'm not saying that SAHMs don't work hard, but at some point after the newborn schedule, they can work to get on a managable schedule. As a working mom, I had a definite drop dead date when I had to be functional, whereas SAHMs may have a bit more leeway. I couldn't afford to have a lot of sick days, or not be up to doing my job. I wanted to be as well rested as possible and it was easier to get to a place of sanity when I could grab a few naps during maternity leave etc.

I'm not trying to start a war, I respect both working and SAH moms and I think both have their challenges and perks. It just made sense to me take advantage of daycare so I could recharge before heading back to work. I got sick quite a bit that first year back after my first and I couldn't afford to do that this time around. Luckily being back at work with two feels so much easier - not sure why - probably just learned to function on less sleep and am more laid back.[/quote]

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