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[quote=Anonymous]WTF, OP? You can't just do something you have **no legal rights to do** by announcing that "this isn't optional" and "she needs to cooperate". That's not how the law works. You sound like a nightmare pushy judgmental DIL and your bad judgment is going to damage your DH's relationship with his father.

MIL is the wife. Repeat this to yourself: she is the wife. And she is competent. Being competent doesn't mean you never make bad choices or take any risks. Sometimes with older adults you just have to wait until something serious happens for them to open their eyes or for you to have some leverage.

I would suspect MIL is either trying to keep you out because you're a pushy boundary-crasher. Or else they're broke or she's broke or their finances aren't actually separate, or she's not as mentally sharp as you think. But if you keep on being pushy you'll get nowhere and only damage your relationships more. Give your DH a break, there is literally nothing he can actually do about this.[/quote]

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