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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - You have a hard balancing act to handle as you need to weigh just how much you DH could really handle in the future if he is in the middle if a bad episode with as you describe “crippling depression” and you also do not want to add to his stress. It may be important to see that DH has a therapist he can be in touch with if needed to navigate increasing pressures with his father.

In trying to get things sorted out with his wife, is there any chance she would accept a third party such as a mediator or a geriatric manager to help her and DH work through issues that will put all in a better working relationship.  His dad may well need help brought in to take pressure off the wife.  It seems both can use help with basic finances and simple thing as setting up bill pay with their bank.  And the thorny issue of legal affairs, too.

In this case you may well have to be the one setting limits for the well-being of your family’s financial and emotional state.  You may need to realize that at times your husband may be unable to be an equal in decision-making so you do need to be sure your ducks are in a row, too.  It is fine to speak clearly that you two may not be able to help his dad. [/quote]

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