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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This also described my DH, to a tee, although is issues are adult ADD (finally diagnosed, but he wont' see a therapist, takes meds which don't seem to help). Hs job stress is due to having a horrible job, boss, atmosphere and yet worrying he will lose it and his track record will prevent him getting another one (his third in 18 months). I work full time, 2 small kids, and we are not okayfinancially without DH's income so we are both stressed. Neither of us sleep for various reasons and we are not at our best right now.

The issue with your husband, seems to me, isn't your job but it is his internal sense of worth. He sounds like me when I was in grad school--felt like a fraud all the time, procrastinated, finally "pulled it off" but was always convinced someone would figure out it was bs. The anxiety I felt was terrible. Seeing a therapist helped me figure out the real sources of the perfectionism and self doubt, and that helpedwith the depression and work/life balance. [/quote]

Thank you PP. This was a nice note. I hope things get better for you. I really do. 
I wish my husband would be receptive to therapy. He has tried it but on some level I really don't think he wants to change his crazy work cycle because it gives him good results. He is a very convincing arguer so it is hard to get him to see that all of that internal anguish is actually a distraction to his productivity, not an essential part of it!

It helps me to think of him as an artist--big mood swings, highly creative, period when he is in the zone and times he is flailing. It is hard to imagine most artists (writiers etc) successfully managing these ups and downs because it is so much a part of them, you know?[/quote]

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