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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I got a report today from an elder parent:

Leisure World is beautiful land, but it's too "suburban/exurban". And the homes are too old and worn out. (They are a good fit for DCUM Money and Finance forum!)

Dad said the apartment  building with elevator in Gaithersburg looked good, but Mom wouldn't be comfortable walking the long hallway to the elevator.  Mom said of course she can walk it. (Doubt. She has foot problems from cancer and has major fall risk.)

CCRC is a no-go because they aren't that old/sick (ignoring that it's easier to start CCRC before it's strictly necessary).

They want to live somewhere with community so they aren't a nag to us. But they have a 20th century ethnic-group-based view of what counts as community.

They want somewhere with long-term residents, not extendes-stay hotel, but they also don't want to be here year-round yet.

Lots of contradictions.

I think an elevator apartment (or maybe a 1ar floor garden) at one of the "town centers" is the best best, and CCRC later.

[/quote]

No, don’t do two moves.  Trust me.  If they don’t want “suburban/exurban” but were also okay with Gaithersburg, they are officially just scared of the transition.  So don’t plan on two moves![/quote]

Agree - don't do it. We are dealing with this with our ILs, who made a second move (and the sunk costs that go with it) and now are in a tough spot with ailing FiL.

Also, if falls are a concern, then they want to be INSIDE a CCRC, not trying to get in. It is so hard to make these decisions when in crisis. I got really luck with my parents, who didn't have much money so options were limited, but it was very stressful at the time. We were just fortunate that their living options broke in their favor because it might not have happened that way.

OP, I don't envy you, it's clearly very hard to be the child in these circumstances. It's also hard for them as they are facing mortality when making these decisions.

Maybe there is a social worker specializing in geriatrics who could facilitate a conversation where they could see their choices.

Good luck![/quote]

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