Reply to Vacation wife here. 4 month update

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Vacation wife here. 4 month update"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][i]-I had absolutely NO idea how conflict avoidant my DH was. None. I mean I have learned things like when we were dating he had two job offers: one really amazing offer that would have fast tracked his career goals in a place he knew I'd never want to live and then the one in our hometown that he accepted. He never even brought the other offer up to me. I had no idea, no chance to support that dream of his. He declined it thinking he was making a sacrifice for the future of our relationship and then internalized the regret and resentment. Repeat this over and over. He wasn't totally happy with our wedding venue, but I seemed to love it so he feigned the same level of excitement. He thought we should have continued house hunting longer, but saw my excitement when we walked into our house and wanted to give me the world so he said it was perfect. He did all these things with the intention of making "sacrifices" for me or fulfilling my wants- which I always thought were our wants- and it snowballed into this immense resentment that our life was not built with his input. It really pains me that my husband either subconsciously didn't feel he could/should express his true opinions and maddens me that I wasn't even given a chance to show him I also care about his wants and needs to the same extent he cares about mine. [/i]

This resonates with me. My DH has done this and I’ve tried to address and he doesn’t see it. He’s so entrenched in the mindset that being a good person/husband means deferring.

I encouraged him to get therapy because the dynamic was causing me so much anxiety and he’s just come back bitter and accusing me of being toxic and abusive.

I think I would have preferred him to cheat. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics