Reply to Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why were you so focused on what they were saying and doing and not getting your daughter out of there? If you know only a cookie is going to save the day and there were no more cookies you needed to leave ASAP and not stand and listen to all the comments and feedback. Seems like you waited around hoping cookies would magically reappear given all the comments you heard. It sucks, my kid has ADHD and melts down inappropriately at times too, but I've never stood there getting feedback. If someone had anything to say about it I wouldn't even know.[/quote]

This is OP.  I’m sorry my replies are quoting the relevant text. I didn’t realize there’s a difference in reply and quote now.

Hahaha no, I wasn’t standing around waiting for a cookie! But that makes me chuckle. She was screaming and flailing on the ground. I was trying to pick her up, but she’s over 50 pounds and didn’t want to leave, so I only got a few feet before I needed to put her down and readjust. She’s not easy to carry when she’s flailing like that. And I knew had to get across a parking lot, where I would need to put her down to unlock my car, and at that point she would run away, across a busy parking lot.

I decided it was safer to try to get her a bit calmer a few feet away from the cookie truck before I tried to carry her through the parking lot.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT A PARENT WITH A CHILD HAVING A MELTDOWN HAS TO CALCULATE. Meanwhile the other women were lecturing her and taunting her about ice cream, which was escalating things.[/quote]

I’ve BTDT! So 1, I don’t think their comments probably even registered with your DD. For good or for ill. When a kid is in the midst of that kind of meltdown they just aren’t hearing or understanding anything. 2, I probably would have (quickly) snapped at the women who were lecturing and quickly explained that my kid has autism and can’t control her meltdowns. In a tone of voice that strongly suggests your disapproval of them. Doesn’t need to take more than 10 seconds. But people need to know that their comments aren’t helpful or needed, and hopefully they “get it” for the next time they’re around a non-NT kid having a hard time. Again, when my kid is in that state nothing I say registers with him so I wouldn’t worry at all that he’d internalize that he can do whatever because of his autism. [/quote]

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