Reply to If you're professionally ambitious, do you feel you spend enough good time with your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I took the approach that careers are long. I mommy tracked when kids were little, but dug in hard when an opportunity arose when they were late elementary. Even when mommy-tracked though, I was strategic. I showed up for in person events as much as possible (I WFH most of the time), developed mentors, and did high quality work - but on a reduced schedule in a relatively low stress position that allowed me to be fully present mornings and evenings. I was a little frustrated with feeling stalled in my career, but loved being so present with the kids and my sane home life.

I dialed it up when the right opportunity arose and became a VP at 42. Family life is harder now and my kids have a worse version of myself (I’m really stressed out). As others have said, I wake up early, take calls from the dentist and sidelines at baseball, and rely heavily on DH who makes it all possible. We eat dinner together nearly every night (though now it’s late after sports and work events and not always home cooked), i have “hobbies” I share with both of them (a sport with one, books/shows the other and I both enjoy), and my job is flexible so I try as much as possible to be physically present when I can. It helps too that they are ‘easy’ kids and i mostly just need to be there for them, not deal with challenges or challenging emotions. I don’t know if I could continue effectively at work or home if that wasn’t the case. As it is, I’m looking for a path to pull back a little for the next 5 years (both in college) that keeps me in the rat race but keeps my job from consuming my life because while I’m ambitious, childhood is short, I love being a mom, and want more time/less stress. Whether I do that or not, I think my kids will be fine, but if I can, my life will be much happier.[/quote]

Spousal support and resources also factor in. I used to be very ambitious before I had kids. I met DH in grad school. I earned more than him after graduation and when we got married. I was outearning him when I had our first child. I absolutely hated missing bedtime and not spending enough time with my baby after I returned from maternity leave. I mommy tracked and dh’s career soared. Now he earns a seven figure income and I stay home with my 3 kids. If he was a lower earner or could share with morning or evenings, it would have been easier to lean on him.

I actually just said he should cut down and I want to go back to work. He is at his absolute prime earning $2m+ with what seems like unlimited opportunities. I would be trying to go back to work applying for flexible work from home or hybrid options that pay $100k. [/quote]

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