Reply to When did you let visitors come see you after giving birth?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1st baby: My father and stepmother (mostly stepmother) barged their way into our home right when we got home from the hospital. She was the opposite of helpful.

2nd baby: wised up and didn't tell people when I went into labor except the person watching Baby 1, and my best friend. Best friend came to our house the day we got home, dropped off food, and took the dog and Baby 1 for a walk, then left.

We had a nanny for Baby 1, and DH and I spent two weeks with 2, and didn't tell anyone until after two weeks. "Surprise! We did a thing" kind of announcement. Then we said, "our phones are off, door is locked, we are going to focus on adjusting to being a family of four for a while but after April, if you've had your Tdap we'd love for you to come by if you're in the area to meet the newest member of our family."

We really didn't worry about people being offended or thinking we  were obnoxious. We were so miserable with what happened with the first baby that we set strong boundaries for the second.

We hired a night nurse for six weeks for each baby. [/quote]

Not telling people for two weeks is insane. What about your mother? What about your husband’s family? So many people want all the benefits of family but don’t want to ever accommodate anyone else. [/quote]

Or maybe it isn't really beneficial? My ILs have never done anything for us. No babysitting. They have never paid for dinner, hosted us for dinner, or paid for takeout. They expect us to call and visit but only ever during holidays. They expect to have holiday celebrations in the day of the holiday -only option- and won't commit to a time. Have never given our sona birthday present. 
But my FIl was waiting the morning after I had a 40 hour labor and the. C section at 11pm at night He never texted or called.to let us know and ask when waa a good time  He just told the nurses he was waiting "for a good time" and it was obviously not a good time. So with my catheter still in, trying to breastfeed and pump, with a baby that has low blood sugar and monitoring bilirubin and completely exhausted not having showered for 2+ days I had to let my FIL in because it was apparently rude" to make.him wait which why the nurses brought him back without asking. 
He never offered to get us food or coffee during his visit. They never came.over with anything postpartum and also did not gift us anything for baby shower (1st kid). 
But yeah the benefits 😄
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