Reply to Anyone pull their kid for sports in middle achool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you everyone.  I actually have had kid into preventative PT and have started looking for someone they can see about performance anxiety.  I don’t want to add in strength training yet bc only in middle school and I am trying to keep commitments lower.  My kid is on the younger side so I insist on sticking with the minimum required practice at this time and happily allow skipping for school work, rest etc.  I am a little crazy about sleep and try to insist on 9 hours (but I can see that will be hard next year as school work ramps up, which is part of the issue).

Kid has all As in school and mostly not injured though definite aches and pains, and I worry about overuse a lot.  Kid is mostly rule following (forgets to make bed but sticks with major responsibilities).

So I do worry about creating a problem where there isn’t one but looking ahead, it feels unsustainable.

No doubt the sport has been a positive so far but it is getting to a tipping point where I really question it.  On one hand, how lucky to have something they love and are good at.  On the other, the expectations outside our family keep ramping up and it feels like a losing proposition.  I think that is my main worry.

Clearly, I was not an athlete and don’t know what to do with this.  
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Gently, when I read this I read a lot of your anxiety but not a lot of concrete evidence of problems yet. And you will have a serious problem if you make a child quit something he absolutely loves.

There are things you can do for injury prevention. My athlete child stated going to yoga classes with me in sixth grade. It turned into something we continued for years, a really wonderful time together. Strength training is also helpful but I would not start that until high school.

Also, it’s not really all that rare for a kid who is dedicated and focused to get college offers. My kid got multiple (and the D3 schools came with a ton of merit aid). I know several committed kids in the same position. DCUM is exceptionally anti-athlete for some reason and makes this seem like it never happens but it’s really not that unusual for driven kids who want to play in college. [/quote]

Thank you for this perspective.  I don’t want to create problems where there isn’t any but the outside pressure is getting intense and kid is sagging under the weight.  But I agree, I probably can’t force quitting without issues.  I love the yoga suggestion.[/quote]

[b]I’m not understanding the “sagging under the weight” of the pressure AND “loves it.” [/B]Usually when the pressure gets to be too much for a particular kid they stop loving it - start dreading it rather than chomping at the bit to play more. I also don’t really understand the worry about injury (unless it is something like multiple concussions, in which case of course it’s serious). My son has some sports injuries, but most of his sprains and breaks and stitches have come from doing everyday boy stuff - climbing, falling, trying to dunk, etc. And if your son gets injured he’ll have to slow down, which is what you want, right? What are you worrying about something that may not happen, and if it does gives your son the information he needs to make a choice?

You don’t get to choose how your kid identifies. Mine identifies strongly as an athlete, and I do worry about what will happen, emotionally, if he has to quit. But we all face loss in life. It hurts, and we grow. Don’t deny your kid the opportunity to have his own life experiences - the highs and the lows.[/quote]

I’m the PP who the OP responded to (the one who suggested yoga) and I agree, especially the bolded. I don’t quite get the “sagging under the weight” but also “loves it.” I’ve been around a LOT of youth athletics and I can’t remember encountering that mix. What I have seen are kids sagging under the weight and pretending to love it, or parents who claimed their kids were sagging under the weight because the parents hated it (but the kids clearly loved it). But you can tell when a kid truly loves a sport versus going through the motions — they can’t fake the joy.

It’s hard for me to tell whether this is more OP or OPs kid. I should also say that I have no problems with a parent deciding as a family they are done, but they need to be honest about who exactly is done.

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