Reply to How do you train DH?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How do you train DH?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I think the biggest thing I have learned (DH is quite well trained) is that, like housetraining a puppy, it's as much training for the owner/you as it is for the puppy/DH.

For example... I used to write DH lists on his days off (during the week), things like laundry, pick up X at the store, etc.  Things were okay.  Then I started to feel like I was condescending, that it was mean and mommy-ish, etc, so I stopped the notes AND DH STOPPED HELPING.  I can TELL him all I want - "tomorrow you need to drop this off at the PO, get milk, and do DD's laundry..." but it's in-one-ear-out-the-other.  I finally sat him down and asked:  What do I need to do?????  He ASKED for the notes back, as detailed as possible.  FWIW he's ADD.  It gives him a road map of sorts and he can read it over and over til it sinks in!

-So I make lists... long, detailed lists.  The first few items are the most important.  I always tack on a few extras at the end... things I don't really EXPECT him to get to... but if he does then he has a VERY HAPPY DW.  And as PP said, that leads to more DTD.

-I do not ask him to do things which I know he sucks at (unless I'm home to help).  So cleaning the floors, not so much.
-If he's not doing it EXACTLY the way I would, but it's not a big deal, I DO NOT MENTION IT... just say thanks.  Ie, folding towels (I am OCD about that).
-He's better with routine.  So if XYZ is his chore EVERY sunday, it's much more likely to get done.
-we have gotten better about acknowledging each other's strengths and weaknesses (luckily they kinda balance out).  So there are many more group projects which ups the chances that 1, we will have the appropriate supplies, 2 it will be appropriately scheduled, 3 he will do a good job, and 4 I will not forget to clean up.
-I give him notice.  He will start asking several days in advance, what his "chores" are for his day off.  If I haven't thought that far ahead yet... I make some stuff up!  So that it has time to sink into his head.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics