Reply to What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think consequences are fine. Punishments are not.[/quote]

This. If your adult child doesn't clean up their room or do their laundry while living in your house, then the consequence is that you go into their room to clean up anything that poses a health hazard (which they will likely see as a violation of privacy) and also let them know that anything really gross will be throw away. Also don't do their laundry for them and then they don't have clean clothes. Natural consequences are really helpful for incentivizing peopel to do basic life skills. Usually if an adult child is really resisting this stuff, it's because the parent has enabled this behavior by cleaning up for them and doing their laundry for them for years.

Also, the stuff about arguing with a sibling... if it's physical fighting the consequence is you need to leave the house because you have to protect your minor child and it's okay to have a zero tolerance policy towards violence in the home (especially for adults). If it's just bickering... sounds like a broken family dynamic that needs to be addressed with actual parenting, like sitting down with your kids and finding a way for them to resolve disagreements more functionally. That's not a punishment situation. The younger child also needs to learn better ways to resolve disagreements. This is an opportunity to do your job as a parent.

Your 18 yr old should not be your fail safe in case of an emergency. And if they don't step up, they shouldn't be punished for it. It sounds like you screwed up and are mad at them for not bailing you out.[/quote]

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