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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep absolutely scared of this especially since I wasn’t able to have kids.[/quote]

I work in a nursing home, most people's children NEVER come to visit. Not even once a year. Never count on kids alone to take care of you in old age. [/quote]

I just posted before. I used to think this was so heartbreaking. I was there so much for my father. Then I experienced what it is to have a parent descend into paranoia, hatred, and abuse. I honestly think my mother is better off with caregivers than she is with me. It cannot be good for her health to be so explosive, although perhaps she gets a dopamine rush. I know it is awful for my health. Until I stopped visiting I had heart issues, daily migraines, high BP for the first time in my life that is now not an issue at all, aches all over my body and more. I could not sleep at night as things got worse. I tried all the techniques in therapy and it helped a little. I called her doctors to express concern about her explosions. You know what helped A LOT, when I had to take care of an ill husband and finally could give my self permission to stop taking the abuse. I could sleep at night. I no longer hated myself. My heartbeat became normal again. Yes, it was stressful caring for him, but he appreciated me. We enjoyed our time together. He actually said thank you and was loving.

I used to think how awful adult children must be not to visit. Now if I heart adult children didn't visit, my first thought would be to wonder how awful the parents behavior got. I would wonder what the solutions are when doctors try to get them to take calming meds, but they won't. I have already informed my own children they need to save themselves. if I become abusive, just make sure I have care and walk away unless we can medicate my abuse away.[/quote]

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