Reply to Fail as a parent: 19 yrs old want to die

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  DC went to therapy (on-line) for 1 session and refuse to go again.  Seriously thinking of pulling her out of school and cancel study aboard to work on her issue this summer.   DC says she will get more depressed if she quit school.  DC goes on rampage and blame everything on me.  DC hates her current school even though it is top 25.  Everything is spiraling downward.  The mood swing is too much.  It is like hourly.   One minute, I love you and next I hate you.   I can't get DC to see doctor.   Definitely, DC is crying for help.  Both of us fly out just 2 weeks ago to calm her.  DH gave up.  DH and I only fight about DC.  We are all  hurting.  It seems helpless to get DC out of hellhole.  We are all in it.  Here I am posting in public forum.[/quote]

Our jobs as parents are to make hard choices for our kids. She is in crisis and needs intervention. Taking a semester or even a year off is something all universities have capacity to accommodate. Find a compromise that she does not travel abroad for the summer but instead uses that time to take a break and level off, then she can go abroad during her gap year. Approach it as releasing the pressure a bit to evaluate and take stock and do some self-care.  Also remind her that with a step away she will be better equipped to take advantage of opportunities in the future.

All of this comes from love and care. You are not invested in T25 or academic achievements… what is important is her health and well-being.

Also online therapy is fine once a relationship is established but is hard to get started that way.

It kay be necessary for her to medically withdraw this semester if she is in a position of being so overwhelmed that she is irretrievably behind in her work.

Big hugs to you and her. This is tough stuff… and this will pass. Your job is to help her navigate this as best she can. [/quote]

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