Reply to Fail as a parent: 19 yrs old want to die

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like I fail as a parent.  When things go wrong like a bad grade (B), breakup, etc?  My high achiever, high IQ DC keeps saying want to die since HS.  DC breaks down under stress because people think DC is genius.   Yes, DC does win prestigious academic award but by working hard.   DC has high expectation of herself.    I can't get through to DC that grade doesn't matter.  DC freaks out and worries about things that shouldn't matter.  DC doesn't see the purpose of life.  It is all work and disappointment.  There is no reason to live and purpose to life.  DC is only child.  There are so many bad things happen at the same time, one after another that she has no control.  I can feel for her.  I don't know how to help her anymore.[/quote]

This is not about you or failing as a parent.  The failure would be if you don’t take these cries for help seriously and find your child a competent therapist and psychiatrist.  They need your help to do this for them.  And yes sooner rather than later.  I’m a therapist who works with high achieving miserable individuals.   High achieving does not equal high self esteem or mental well being.  [/quote]

This. The parents who "fail" their kids go into denial when there is a problem and/or refuse to get help for the kid that they can afford. Parents who beat their children are failing. Parents who torture their kids for their own narcissistic needs are failing their kids. Seeing a problem and getting help is good parenting.[/quote]

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