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[quote=Anonymous]OP circling back- thanks for the input from the helpful posters.

To answer a few questions:
-DH is DS1 and he asked me to try to figure out what is supposed to be happening, he is overwhelmed and realizes there are some tricky interpersonal dynamics
-I don’t want anything from this process, not even the land. I have not been happy with how this is playing out as it is pulling DH into old dysfunctional family patterns that I thought therapy had addressed.
-DH laughed at deleting the thread to maintain privacy. His siblings are going after each other on Facebook.

-MIL died a few weeks ago, so there are a lot of outstanding medical bills that will be coming and probate is at least 8 months.

-Will was written 4 years ago, all grandchildren had been born.

-DH and I agree that goal of processing estate should be to keep the house with the caregiver. I wasn’t sure there was discretion in processing order. The other siblings have issue with this approach as it could mean they get nothing.

-I am going to suggest that they try to get everything as organized as possible and then hire lawyer to sort out details.

-Given how messy this looks to be and how much work executor will need to do, I really think the siblings should pay the executor whatever is allowed. But I am sure that won’t go over very well.

-I am also going to suggest that DH think about whether he would want to buy the land from the estate if it has to be sold.

-I also agree there might not be anything left to fight over, this is all so sad that the dysfunction continues after death.
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