The executor really should use an attorney well versed in the probate law of the county there to handle the probate process. It would be penny wise and pound foolish not to.

We had a situation in our family where the executor refused to hire a probate attorney and proceeded to help herself to cash and personal property items that were part of the estate to the tune of thousands of dollars. Eventually, she got caught and had to give it all back to the beneficiaries but it was a hassle to go through the process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


1. The family needs an attorney, who will be paid with the proceeds of the inheritance. Make sure he or she is honest.

2. The attorney will calculate how much debt there is, and whether it can be paid off with land sale or house sale or both. This is an important consideration given they are willed to different people! It's likely that both will have to be sold to make things fair, in which case DD1 will have to live elsewhere.

3. There will be no child support. That family has to apply for government assistance.

4. Gird yourself up for conflict. My family had 25 years of court battles over my grandfather's will, and it split the family permanently, I'm sorry to say.

If you brought this kind logic and critical thinking to your familial conflict I think I understand why you had so much conflict in your family. The will wasn’t drafted to be fair. It was drafted to give the caretaking child a place to live.

It’s not a foregone conclusion that getting the house is better than getting money. A house has to be maintained, pay taxes, etc. She may be better off with cash. And unfortunately assets have to be liquidated to pay debts, that’s just how it goes. Maybe she has some leeway to sell land first, but that’s why you need a lawyer.

Anonymous wrote:OP circling back- thanks for the input from the helpful posters.

To answer a few questions:
-DH is DS1 and he asked me to try to figure out what is supposed to be happening, he is overwhelmed and realizes there are some tricky interpersonal dynamics

Are you an SC attorney? Why are you being tasked with this? Nothing is stopping your or your DH from hiring an attorney on your own to represent your DH's rights. It won't be reimbursed from the estate but at least it will give your DH's some information. Even a short engagement of a few hours can give some piece of mind over the issues.

Also, the fact the DD living in the house and executor is not hiring an attorney over what is likely to be a very messy affair only demonstrates how dysfunctional this is going to be. Just selling the land instead of the house will likely open all kinds of litigation and squabbling that is only going to drain the estate of its assets.

At this point I feel we all know all the names of all the attorneys in Hampton County.

If it were up to me I would call Mark Tinsley.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omfg. Only 20 thousand people live in Hampton County!! This post is so identifiable. You need to ask Jeff to delete this.

Ditto

Realistically, why would anyone care? If they know the family well enough to identify them, I’m sure nothing written here is new news.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omfg. Only 20 thousand people live in Hampton County!! This post is so identifiable. You need to ask Jeff to delete this.

Ditto

Who cares. I don't know them

Anonymous wrote:Did your spouse ask you to figure this out? If not, mind your own business.

It is spouse's business but, not ours to figure out

Anonymous wrote:Omfg. Only 20 thousand people live in Hampton County!! This post is so identifiable. You need to ask Jeff to delete this.

Ditto

She needs to hire a Hampton county probate lawyer to help her thru this. Who wrote her will?

I doubt 5 acres in Hampton county is worth all that much. Personally, I would not suggest that your husband gets into the mess of buying the land. No matter what the siblings will probably say he got a sweet deal in generations from now he will be blamed for taking the family land.

Executor/DD1 manages estate according to will. She calls the shots maybe with the advice of an attorney (one time session) and that fee is paid from assets. If she is maintaining home and land (mortgage, utilities, repairs/reno) it can be deducted and paid back to her from overall assets until she legally owns the home and deed is in her name. She can also be paid for her time/work as executor.

She is right. Determine debt that must be paid. Beneficiaries typically agree that debt is paid from assets. Let her do her job, especially given the fact that she was MIL primary caregiver for years. If beneficiaries are balking and harassing executor, she can file a nuisance beneficiaries complaint through probate court. Probate mostly sucks, but sounds like your DH and his tribe are going to make it very difficult for executor. Probate judge typically protects executor/successor trustee if they’re executing, accounting, and distributing assets according to will and within state laws.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


1. The family needs an attorney, who will be paid with the proceeds of the inheritance. Make sure he or she is honest.

2. The attorney will calculate how much debt there is, and whether it can be paid off with land sale or house sale or both. This is an important consideration given they are willed to different people! It's likely that both will have to be sold to make things fair, in which case DD1 will have to live elsewhere.

3. There will be no child support. That family has to apply for government assistance.

4. Gird yourself up for conflict. My family had 25 years of court battles over my grandfather's will, and it split the family permanently, I'm sorry to say.

If you brought this kind logic and critical thinking to your familial conflict I think I understand why you had so much conflict in your family. The will wasn’t drafted to be fair. It was drafted to give the caretaking child a place to live.

PP you replied to. *I* did not recommend selling anything - I was 5! The judge decided.

But I see it coming a mile away, PP. There is only child who gets the house, and her 3 siblings get the land. Do you think they will accept reducing their portion to pay debts and the lawyer, while she gets nothing reduced? Seeing as there is conflict already, I highly doubt it. One way to resolve the impasse is to sell everything and divide the proceeds equally after paying off debts/fees, regardless of the life situation of the beneficiaries. If this is taken to court, this is what is likely to happen. It happened in my family's case.

Take the emotion out of it, people. Otherwise you're in for years of pain.

OP circling back- thanks for the input from the helpful posters.

To answer a few questions:
-DH is DS1 and he asked me to try to figure out what is supposed to be happening, he is overwhelmed and realizes there are some tricky interpersonal dynamics
-I don’t want anything from this process, not even the land. I have not been happy with how this is playing out as it is pulling DH into old dysfunctional family patterns that I thought therapy had addressed.
-DH laughed at deleting the thread to maintain privacy. His siblings are going after each other on Facebook.

-MIL died a few weeks ago, so there are a lot of outstanding medical bills that will be coming and probate is at least 8 months.

-Will was written 4 years ago, all grandchildren had been born.

-DH and I agree that goal of processing estate should be to keep the house with the caregiver. I wasn’t sure there was discretion in processing order. The other siblings have issue with this approach as it could mean they get nothing.

-I am going to suggest that they try to get everything as organized as possible and then hire lawyer to sort out details.

-Given how messy this looks to be and how much work executor will need to do, I really think the siblings should pay the executor whatever is allowed. But I am sure that won’t go over very well.

-I am also going to suggest that DH think about whether he would want to buy the land from the estate if it has to be sold.

-I also agree there might not be anything left to fight over, this is all so sad that the dysfunction continues after death.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs. SIL will need at least some help from an attorney, even if she carries out a lot of tasks herself. In the beginning, it may seem “too expensive,” but in the long run, it will be the best money she ever spent. She has no idea what a headache this will be, and how much of a toll going it alone will take on her mental and emotional health and family relationships. The lawyer can be paid by the estate; they’ll receive a percentage of whatever is leftover after debts being paid. I seriously doubt that your MIL had any legal obligation to pay child support for her grandchild. The child’s father will have to step up or suffer any consequences.

Good luck to the family.

Oh sorry, you don’t have to give the attorney a percentage of the estate if you’re just paying for the number of billable hours that they spend assisting SIL if she does a lot of the work herself.

Agree with PPs. SIL will need at least some help from an attorney, even if she carries out a lot of tasks herself. In the beginning, it may seem “too expensive,” but in the long run, it will be the best money she ever spent. She has no idea what a headache this will be, and how much of a toll going it alone will take on her mental and emotional health and family relationships. The lawyer can be paid by the estate; they’ll receive a percentage of whatever is leftover after debts being paid. I seriously doubt that your MIL had any legal obligation to pay child support for her grandchild. The child’s father will have to step up or suffer any consequences.

Good luck to the family.

Anonymous wrote:


1. The family needs an attorney, who will be paid with the proceeds of the inheritance. Make sure he or she is honest.

2. The attorney will calculate how much debt there is, and whether it can be paid off with land sale or house sale or both. This is an important consideration given they are willed to different people! It's likely that both will have to be sold to make things fair, in which case DD1 will have to live elsewhere.

3. There will be no child support. That family has to apply for government assistance.

4. Gird yourself up for conflict. My family had 25 years of court battles over my grandfather's will, and it split the family permanently, I'm sorry to say.

If you brought this kind logic and critical thinking to your familial conflict I think I understand why you had so much conflict in your family. The will wasn’t drafted to be fair. It was drafted to give the caretaking child a place to live.