Reply to Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you do something that deserves withdrawal of his attention, he withdraws his attention.

Cause and effect.

Real question is why it’s so hard for you to learn to stop doing the things that cause him to withdraw his attention.[/quote]

No, the real question is why you think it’s okay to blame the victim here. Let’s be clear—this isn’t “withdrawing.” This is days and days of refusing to speak to or acknowledge one’s spouse repeatedly. It’s cruel. No one is saying that OP doesn’t do anything to annoy her spouse. That’s a dynamic of every relationship and to be expected. What’s not okay is shutting down for days. He can say to her, “I need some space, and then we can talk about what happened.” That’s what a mature adult says. Instead, he engages in a silent treatment to punish OP.

And just for kicks, let’s replace “withdraw” with “punch you.”

[i]Real question is why it’s so hard for you to stop doing the things that cause him to punch you.”[/i]
See how that’s not really where you want to go with that twisted reasoning? 
[/quote]

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