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[quote=Anonymous]
Other than one relative who lives five hours away here in the U.S., all our family is in a European country. We are close to them, closer than to the one U.S. relative (we love her but just have little in common and our schedules don't mesh other than maybe two visits a year).

But OP, we have never had issues with support or babysitting like you seem to feel you have. We have some very close friends, emotionally closer than a lot of family, here where we live, so we've never missed having familhy around for the tasks you want from your family. We adore our family who are overseas but would never resent the fact they're not here or we're not there, for purposes of babysitting or other help. If we lived over there in their country we would still not have expected the in-laws, either MIL/FIL or others, to provide the level of help you seem to feel you're owed.

OP, please try to cultivate real friendships where you are NOW and stop expecting you should have family around to do things for or with you. The time and energy you are expending on wishing and resenting are time and energy you could spend on volunteering at kids' schools; joining a church/synagogue/mosque/whatever if you are so inclined, and getting involved there; joining playgroups and other places you can meet people. But please do so with your mind on actual friendships, NOT on "I'm going to find a babysitter this way!" [/quote]

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