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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lazy Saturday at home. This morning, DH went to the gym and I stayed home with DC. I made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, put away laundry, and cleaned the shower (while also taking a shower). Also helped DC with a craft project and facilitated dance music and got snacks. That's all fine -- zero resentment.

DH was gone about 2 hours (about 90 minutes at gym plus getting there and back). When he got home, he took a shower, relaxed for a while (scrolling Twitter and doing some Duo Lingo while lying on the bed), and then made himself lunch. I made DC and myself lunch.

Then DH decided he wanted to watch some This Old House, so he watched a couple episodes on his computer while DC and I hung out and played/listened to music.

Around 2, I suggested DH take DC to the park. I have had a nice day, but was feeling like I needed a break. I also have a small work project I need to finish over the weekend, which DH knows about. So I said "[b]Hey, maybe you two would like to go to the park, maybe take DC's bike and work on riding? I have some work to finish so I could use some peace and quiet in the house."[/b]

Was it rude for me to volunteer DH to take DC out? Should I have approached that in another way? He is acting very put-upon about it. They didn't have to go to the park -- it was just a suggestion. I also would have left to go work at the coffee shop nearby, but it seemed like DC needed to get outside anyway.[/quote]

OP, this is exactly what I would have said but, after 20 years of marriage, DH has finally gotten me to see that men do not respond well to statements like this, because - to them - it sounds passive aggressive.

You were being nice, I know.  What you perhaps should have said was, "Hey DH. Would you please take DC to the park or somewhere else - just out of the house - for a couple of hours this afternoon, preferably before 4:00, so that I can get to the project I need to finish up."

You have to be blunt.[/quote]

It is passive aggressive, and it should not take 20 years to figure that out.

You would not find a direct answer to the question, really intended as a command, acceptable if the answer was "No."

It is not about being blunt.  It is about being direct.  Passive aggressive  people avoid directness and prefer a manipulative communication style to avoid their own accountability.

OP did not want to explain why she was behind on a work project requiring her to do make up work on the weekend at home, nor why she failed to advance plan the family's weekend with her husband in advance of the weekend.  Most likely, OP is disorganized and wastes too much time on social media and internet forums at home and work rather than getting all her work done on time.[/quote]

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