Reply to “Beach House” Early

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We would stay with them if the accommodations were suitable, and the dates work. We’re never asked for our input on accommodations even though we’ve said this a number of times, though, so I read the “but we got a house with rooms for you” as sort of a fake-polite protest. I don’t mind that they don’t care for us to stay, it would be nice if they’d stop the show before I have to explain it to our kids, though.

[b]I am also realizing I may have to tell my in laws I consider one of the cousins potentially unsafe for being around my young children unsupervised (one of the reasons the accommodations are so problematic) because I really don’t want a family-wide referendum on SILs parenting[/b].[/quote]

NP. You buried the lead here, OP. The bold is the bigger issue. ONE incident where a kid gets hurt (or whatever form the anticipated "unsafe" takes) is one incident too many. And we all know that it only takes a moment for parents to look away, or for younger children, in a strange place like a rental house, to slip away for a moment with a cousin. And so on.

You are not super enthusiastic about staying with the family anyway (and I would not be either, but mostly because I don't like the idea of multi-family house vacations). So don't give them ANY notion that you are open to staying there! Don't waffle or say mushy maybe-we'll-come things like "We'd like some input" when you know the real red flag is the cousin and your concerns. Of course you don't want or need the drama of a dispute over an in-law's parenting or a defense of that cousin. Just do as you have been doing. Better yet? Take your PTO and your money and go somewhere that you, DH and your kids really want to go but haven't seen before!

It IS on your DH to handle this with the in-laws, though. Does DH have your back on this? Does DH agree that (1) cousin IS an issue, (2) there's no real love in you or DH for staying at the big family beach house whether it's for a night or a week, and (3) you should either stay at a hotel if you do go, or maybe make your own fun plans this year--? [/quote]

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