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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL told my DH he was making a mistake marrying me. We now have 5 kids and have been married 20+ years. She was never warm and always judgmental of me while my FIL was always lovely and kind. Up until he died I was engaged in their family. Not a lot but would do the visits. Since my FIL died I haven't seen or spoken to my MIL. She doesn't live close so my DH sees her but I don't make the effort or care. She is still rude. [/quote]

I am sorry for the loss of your kind, lovely FIL. Doesn't it make you wonder how they stayed married all those years, and how they were together, at all?  Maybe he just tuned her out. In my FILs case, he was never home - on purpose! In DH's family, "home" was not synonymous with "joy", which makes me quite sad, because my parents passed young - their only riches were their loving extended (many generations, raised together) family.

I think especially when one is first generation, being grateful is very important and valued in that family. MIL preaches being "grateful", but does not show it, only those who are just like her matter - anyone else is a target for bullying. 
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