Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s actually not true that people on the autism spectrum cannot emotionally connect with other people. In my family there are people on the spectrum, some extremely so, and in my experience they can have quite intense emotions, and a lot of empathy, but they simply don’t express it in the ways that we are familiar with. So for example if a person doesn’t ask anything about your life, you might interpret that as them not caring about you. But they may feel that if you want to tell them something you simply will do so and do not understand the importance of asking or the extra emotional message that asking sends. If you’ve been married for 25 years, I have to suspect that your spouse feels a strong attachment to you and probably would feel greatly distressed to think that you were feeling emotionally neglected. You might have to give a very specific feedback about things that you want done that are meaningful to you that would not necessarily occur to the other person. And in this way it’s very similar to every marriage. Or at least every marriage I’ve ever heard from, we’re both parties have to work to understand each other and to figure out each other’s needs and how to meet them given their limited capacities in various ways.[/quote]

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